“Locked Down” is as unpleasant as the real deal.

Linda (Anne Hathaway) and Paxton (Chiwetel Eijifor) are on the brink of separating, when a mandatory lockdown forces them to hunker down together in their London apartment.

However, this challenging time brings them closer in the most unlikely of ways — when they two decide to steal a multimillion dollar diamond.

In the times of a pandemic, I can’t say I’m surprised to start seeing screenplays inspired these times. I guess I just didn’t expect it so soon.

Or to kick it off with this weird bait-and-switch storyline. But here we are.

Locked Down starts as a dramatic, dark comedy, heavily relying on Zoom and FaceTime to move the narrative along. It feels gimmicky and tired, however, Locked Down does use it to its advantage to capture some of the more difficult moments of quarantine, such as watching Linda have to fire her employees.

Otherwise, the first act seriously drags as Locked Down dances between being a bland, over dramatic version of A Marriage Story and capturing everything on your quarantine Bingo Card — from zainy pajamas to drinking copious amounts of wine, Locked Down has managed to feature it all.

But then EVERYTHING takes a turn in the final act when the narrative transforms into a scrappy version of Ocean’s 8 meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Despite this plot line’s short lived and muddled nature, this is the part of the film that was actually interesting and makes me wish we didn’t have to suffer being Locked Down for nearly 90% of the film.

But at least we suffer with excellent performers.

Hathaway and Ejiofor are wonderful. These talented actors have fantastic chemistry, and it is clear they have drawn on their own quarantine experiences to bring some relatability to their otherwise unlikable characters.

But overall, I lived through quarantine. I don’t need to live through it again SO soon – especially if I’m forced to live through another couple’s issues and their crappy robbery.

I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ve seen of pandemic-inspired films, but I’m hoping this is one sub-genre we can get rid of sooner than later.

Final Thoughts: Despite solid leading performances, Locked Down is a forgettable and frustrating experience.

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